I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
