I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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