I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
