Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
a search helicopter?!
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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