were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
