it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
