Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
