whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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