whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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