Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize