quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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