Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
