Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
