Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
