i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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