You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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