Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
