I wanna bring you to show and tell
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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