On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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