hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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