am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
