Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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