Me too!
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
