Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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