She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
