He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
