You're my little dorito
I think my vagina is haunted
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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