I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
