I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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