Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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