my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
