I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
