okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
