Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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