so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
