He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
