Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
