she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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