Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
