I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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