Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
This baby is an asshole
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
