I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
