dude i'm inner monologue high
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
