You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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