You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
