love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
