Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
