So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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