I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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