All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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