You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize