Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
