Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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