Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize