well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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