youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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