So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize