I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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