I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
