i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize