first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
