Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
