hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
