I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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