Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i think i just lost a toe
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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