He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
this will be a night to untag.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
