Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
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