just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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