he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize