But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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