so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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