He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Randomize
