They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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